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Advice- Girl Help
Topic Started: Jul 18 2007, 08:31 AM (2,041 Views)
Sithis's Embrace
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cvn-tv-dip
July 18, 2007 01:46 PM
Your Leykis 101 perspective is not how true relationships are formed. These relationships are a more specific type of human relations that need to be bonded properly.

Well apparently Tom is doing something right. Number one ratings. Relationships are a joke nowadays. 38% of babies are born out of wedlock. 1/2 of all marriages in in a divorce, and 2/3 in California! Personally I don't want my heart and my wallet annihilated when I find out my wife is cheating. Alimony is the most evil thing. Anyway, why would you spend your whole life with a controlling, evil woman? Its stupid and the Leykis 101 students aim to put a stop to it. Yeah I'm proud to be a 101 student. Dunno where you live, but you can listen online here from 3-7 PT, you might just learn something!

EDIT: Yeah I see your staff member you have to bring in! You have no argument because I'm right, and you have to try to get me banned because I defeated you.
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cvn-tv-dip
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Sithis's Embrace
July 18, 2007 10:55 AM
cvn-tv-dip
July 18, 2007 01:46 PM
Your Leykis 101 perspective is not how true relationships are formed. These relationships are a more specific type of human relations that need to be bonded properly.

Well apparently Tom is doing something right. Number one ratings. Relationships are a joke nowadays. 38% of babies are born out of wedlock. 1/2 of all marriages in in a divorce, and 2/3 in California! Personally I don't want my heart and my wallet annihilated when I find out my wife is cheating. Alimony is the most evil thing. Anyway, why would you spend your whole life with a controlling, evil woman? Its stupid and the Leykis 101 students aim to put a stop to it. Yeah I'm proud to be a 101 student. Dunno where you live, but you can listen online here from 3-7 PT, you might just learn somthing!

Look up Leykis 101 on the web and see what you find. We're trying to help someone here to build a serious relationship, not raise a misogamist cult. If a large number of marriages fail, we have to make marriages more stable instead of just giving in to the statistics.

I didn't say ignore the cheating thing. I said not to treat relationships like garbage. I would suggest having a serious talk with that girl and sort things out, whether or not you two stay together.
Quote:
 
Yeah I see your staff member you have to bring in! You have no argument because I'm right, and you have to try to get me banned because I defeated you.

It's because of your attitude and involvement of mature content that keeps you under watchful eye. In your first post, your Number 3 sounds quite extreme, but you're entitled to your views and you're welcome to debate about it. But this...
Quote:
 
Number two: You should have plenty of chicks in rotation. I don't know how old you are, but if your over 18...

...is over the edge.
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LABaller
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cvn-tv-dip
July 18, 2007 01:04 PM
LABaller
July 18, 2007 07:49 AM
Aaron
July 18, 2007 10:10 AM
LABaller
July 18, 2007 09:53 AM
Dump her ass.  Don't be subtle, just dump her ass.  Seriously.

*sighs* Some people believe in second chances no matter what you do. Some times it works some times it does not. If one does give a second chance and it does work out, hey more power to you, that you and your girlfriend/boyfriend was able to work a major problem out and make it work out in the long run,

But is it really worth it when you can go try and find someone else that wouldn't try breaking your trust at all?

If you can dump someone that easily, how are you ever going to build a true connection?

It's very easy.

"Hi, you cheated on me, you're unfaithful, it's over. I'd rather date someone and have a better chance at a stronger relationship with someone that won't betray my trust the first time. Kthxbai"
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Dropkicksidekick
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Quote:
 
Yeah I see your staff member you have to bring in! You have no argument because I'm right, and you have to try to get me banned because I defeated you.


What argument? and Who's trying to get you banned? O_O

You're not thinking about the fact that people do want to be in a serious stable relationship. Were there's nothing but true love. Love does exist, you just have to find it.

What I'm trying to figure out is... see, My girlfriend is 16 she'll be 17 in a month. How are you suppose to have a serious conversation with them. Show them that no matter what, it's okay and you still love them. How do you insure them that no matter what you say you wont get mad....
How do you make them feel secure. I'm not expert. :\
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cvn-tv-dip
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LABaller
July 18, 2007 11:02 AM
cvn-tv-dip
July 18, 2007 01:04 PM
LABaller
July 18, 2007 07:49 AM
Aaron
July 18, 2007 10:10 AM
LABaller
July 18, 2007 09:53 AM
Dump her ass.  Don't be subtle, just dump her ass.  Seriously.

*sighs* Some people believe in second chances no matter what you do. Some times it works some times it does not. If one does give a second chance and it does work out, hey more power to you, that you and your girlfriend/boyfriend was able to work a major problem out and make it work out in the long run,

But is it really worth it when you can go try and find someone else that wouldn't try breaking your trust at all?

If you can dump someone that easily, how are you ever going to build a true connection?

It's very easy.

"Hi, you cheated on me, you're unfaithful, it's over. I'd rather date someone and have a better chance at a stronger relationship with someone that won't betray my trust the first time. Kthxbai"

Yes, but the way you said "dump her, move on to the next" sounds like you're willingly throwing away relationship each time you don't like it instead of having perseverance and putting effort to give one a chance.

Like I clarified above, at least have a good talk with her, trying to calm things down as well as you can, even if you resolve to breaking up. Be assertive about it.
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Scotty
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Sithis's Embrace
July 18, 2007 01:55 PM
cvn-tv-dip
July 18, 2007 01:46 PM
Your Leykis 101 perspective is not how true relationships are formed. These relationships are a more specific type of human relations that need to be bonded properly.

Well apparently Tom is doing something right. Number one ratings. Relationships are a joke nowadays. 38% of babies are born out of wedlock. 1/2 of all marriages in in a divorce, and 2/3 in California! Personally I don't want my heart and my wallet annihilated when I find out my wife is cheating. Alimony is the most evil thing. Anyway, why would you spend your whole life with a controlling, evil woman? Its stupid and the Leykis 101 students aim to put a stop to it. Yeah I'm proud to be a 101 student. Dunno where you live, but you can listen online here from 3-7 PT, you might just learn something!

EDIT: Yeah I see your staff member you have to bring in! You have no argument because I'm right, and you have to try to get me banned because I defeated you.

Um, right. That's nice and all, but the topic creator wanted to know how to have a serious conversation with his girlfriend, not about your phobia of women.

Dropkicksidekick, in my opinion, take her driving around one night. Find a quiet place maybe outside of the city, and park. Just tell her that you need to talk to her, and she'll most likely listen. You don't want to make her feel trapped, but at the same time, she may think you want to end the relationship because you want to talk. Just try to stay upbeat so she doesn't think it's necessarily bad news.
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Sithis's Embrace
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cvn-tv-dip
July 18, 2007 01:59 PM
Look up Leykis 101 on the web and see what you find. We're trying to help someone here to build a serious relationship, not raise a misogamist cult. If a large number of marriages fail, we have to make marriages more stable instead of just giving in to the statistics.

I'm a LISTENER for goodness sake! LABaller is probably the most aware of the evils of relationships with cheaters! You don't even know what terrible things that happen to men because we get screwed by the law! Did you know that people are forced to pay for kids that they aren't even RELATED to, EVEN IF DNA says otherwise? I can send you an email of all the evils if you'd like.

EDIT: I have no phobia of women, Scotty. I don't want men to get screwed by the law if that's ok.
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LABaller
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Quote:
 
LABaller is probably the most aware of the evils of relationships with cheaters!


All I'm saying is that I'd personally not want to be the one who has a project for a girlfriend, one I have to "tolerate" rather than enjoying the time I have with her. Someone that is already fine, not someone I have to improve.
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cvn-tv-dip
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Sithis's Embrace
July 18, 2007 11:09 AM
cvn-tv-dip
July 18, 2007 01:59 PM
Look up Leykis 101 on the web and see what you find. We're trying to help someone here to build a serious relationship, not raise a misogamist cult. If a large number of marriages fail, we have to make marriages more stable instead of just giving in to the statistics.

I'm a LISTENER for goodness sake! LABaller is probably the most aware of the evils of relationships with cheaters! You don't even know what terrible things that happen to men because we get screwed by the law! Did you know that people are forced to pay for kids that they aren't even RELATED to, EVEN IF DNA says otherwise? I can send you an email of all the evils if you'd like.

Look. This topic is about how do deal assertively and correctly with the matter of someone's girlfriend. If you are truly passionate about the "evils of relationships" and double-edged sexism involved in marriage, then go create a Java Hut topic, control your passion, and debate properly. But you're getting way off-track.
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Dropkicksidekick
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It's I've tired so many times. I feel somethings wrong, or maybe it's just me. O_O

But I Feel like somethings wrong and I ask her "What's wrong?" or "Are you Okay?" And it's always, "nothings wrong" and "I'm okay"
Yet, I feel somethings wrong. I don't know how.... meh... it's confusing.
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cvn-tv-dip
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Dropkicksidekick
July 18, 2007 11:12 AM
It's I've tired so many times. I feel somethings wrong, or maybe it's just me. O_O

But I Feel like somethings wrong and I ask her "What's wrong?" or "Are you Okay?" And it's always, "nothings wrong" and "I'm okay"
Yet, I feel somethings wrong. I don't know how.... meh... it's confusing.

I think you need to show her more formally that you want to talk to her, instead of simply starting out with a question. Make preparations for an important conversation, and then ask her to share what she has inside her.
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Sithis's Embrace
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LABaller
July 18, 2007 02:11 PM
Quote:
 
LABaller is probably the most aware of the evils of relationships with cheaters!


All I'm saying is that I'd personally not want to be the one who has a project for a girlfriend, one I have to "tolerate" rather than enjoying the time I have with her. Someone that is already fine, not someone I have to improve.

EXACTLY! The less compromise the better. My dad once told me that "Compromise is the art of screwing everyone." The more compromise the less the relationship will work out for the better!
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LABaller
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I'd also like to note that my original advice was given BEFORE HE SAID THAT HE DOESN'T KNOW FOR SURE YET.

His original post said what would he do if he knew for sure, and I answered his question. I just want to clear that up, some of you are confused.
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cvn-tv-dip
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LABaller
July 18, 2007 11:15 AM
I'd also like to note that my original advice was given BEFORE HE SAID THAT HE DOESN'T KNOW FOR SURE YET.

His original post said what would he do if he knew for sure, and I answered his question. I just want to clear that up, some of you are confused.

I didn't see what his original post said, so can you clear that up? Unless he doesn't want others to know.

And although compromising makes things harder, requiring more commitment, it makes it that much more significant, and if the two are ready to have that and fulfill it successfully, that will bring them closer. If they're not ready, then they should wait until they can move on. Your idea of relationships, it seems, brings down the importance to a mere extracurricular activity.
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Dropkicksidekick
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cvn-tv-dip
July 18, 2007 02:13 PM
Dropkicksidekick
July 18, 2007 11:12 AM
It's I've tired so many times. I feel somethings wrong, or maybe it's just me. O_O

But I Feel like somethings wrong and I ask her "What's wrong?" or "Are you Okay?" And it's always, "nothings wrong" and "I'm okay"
Yet, I feel somethings wrong. I don't know how.... meh... it's confusing.

I think you need to show her more formally that you want to talk to her, instead of simply starting out with a question. Make preparations for an important conversation, and then ask her to share what she has inside her.

Yeah, I've tried that numerous of times. She tells me that what's on her mind is "I love you."
Maybe it's that she's to young to talk to... or maybe either one of us isn't ready for as far as we've gotten. See, she's my first girlfriend, and I'm her first boyfriend, and we've gone pretty far starting out so young, and we've been friends for 2 years before we started dating. I think she just doesn't want to hurt me, but I want to know for sure how she feels. I don't want to feel like she's only with me because she doesn't want to hurt me. :-/
I don't know how to get her to really open up.
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