We hope you enjoy your visit.

You're currently viewing our forum as a guest. This means you are limited to certain areas of the board and there are some features you can't use. If you join our community, you'll be able to access member-only sections, and use many member-only features such as customizing your profile, sending personal messages, and voting in polls. Registration is simple, fast, and completely free.


Join our community!


If you're already a member please log in to your account to access all of our features:

Username:   Password:
Locked Topic
  • Pages:
  • 1
  • 3
Advice- Girl Help
Topic Started: Jul 18 2007, 08:31 AM (2,040 Views)
LABaller
Member Avatar
Latino Heat
[ *  *  *  *  * ]
His current post is near what he said:

Quote:
 
How are you suppose to get your girlfriend to have a serious conversation with you. About what's going on in the relationship, how she feels, and how to confront her if you know she's cheating, or did cheat?


He asked how to confront her if you know for sure that she's cheating. I simply said dump her, my reasoning is explained in the post before my last one.

He later explained himself and said that he does not yet know. So my advice doesn't apply for that situation. So before everyone jumps down my throat, please pay attention to the timing of my post. :)

Offline Profile Goto Top
 
Sithis's Embrace
Member Avatar
The ongoing, on-air, adult education course
[ * ]
Scotty
July 18, 2007 02:05 PM
Um, right. That's nice and all, but the topic creator wanted to know how to have a serious conversation with his girlfriend, not about your phobia of women.

Didn't I say that "Personally I don't want my heart and my wallet annihilated when I find out my wife is cheating."? That will happen.

All I really want to say is: Go, enjoy being 19 while you can. Have fun, and don't miss out on going with the boys somewhere because your girlfriend wont let you! Does that make any sense?
Offline Profile Goto Top
 
LABaller
Member Avatar
Latino Heat
[ *  *  *  *  * ]
Sithis's Embrace
July 18, 2007 02:23 PM
Scotty
July 18, 2007 02:05 PM
Um, right. That's nice and all, but the topic creator wanted to know how to have a serious conversation with his girlfriend, not about your phobia of women.

Didn't I say that "Personally I don't want my heart and my wallet annihilated when I find out my wife is cheating."? That will happen.

All I really want to say is: Go, enjoy being 19 while you can. Have fun, and don't miss out on going with the boys somewhere because your girlfriend wont let you! Does that make any sense?

I agree with that reasoning. While you're young, meet as many women as you'd like. You don't need to tie yourself down so quickly at 19 yrs. old. The more women you meet, the closer you'll be to finding someone that you might enjoy settling down with.

But when you make a commitment (and that can be much earlier than engagement), and your faith waivers, it's not worth continuing in my opinion.

And that includes at your age. If your significant other is just going around and screwing everyone else, and you don't like that, just leave. You don't have to tolerate that if you don't want to.
Offline Profile Goto Top
 
Dropkicksidekick
Member Avatar
Member
[ *  *  *  * ]
Quote:
 
Didn't I say that "Personally I don't want my heart and my wallet annihilated when I find out my wife is cheating."? That will happen.

How are you ever going to catch a fish if you never fish? O_O

and to note. I just turned 18


BUT, this is the one I want to stay with forever
nothing much to say.
Offline Profile Goto Top
 
cvn-tv-dip
Member
[ *  *  *  *  *  * ]
Dropkicksidekick
July 18, 2007 11:22 AM
cvn-tv-dip
July 18, 2007 02:13 PM
Dropkicksidekick
July 18, 2007 11:12 AM
It's I've tired so many times. I feel somethings wrong, or maybe it's just me. O_O

But I Feel like somethings wrong and I ask her "What's wrong?" or "Are you Okay?" And it's always, "nothings wrong" and "I'm okay"
Yet, I feel somethings wrong. I don't know how.... meh... it's confusing.

I think you need to show her more formally that you want to talk to her, instead of simply starting out with a question. Make preparations for an important conversation, and then ask her to share what she has inside her.

Yeah, I've tried that numerous of times. She tells me that what's on her mind is "I love you."

Then you should be stronger and more firm the next time you talk to her.

Tell her this part...
Quote:
 
Maybe it's that she's to young to talk to... or maybe either one of us is ready for as far as we've gotten. See, she's my first girlfriend, and I'm her first boyfriend, and we've gone pretty far starting out so young, and we've been friends for 2 years before we started dating. I think she just doesn't want to hurt me, but I want to know for sure how she feels. I don't want to feel like she's only with me because she doesn't want to hurt me.  :-/

the whole thing; I just italicized last sentence because it stands out more.

And then tell her that you two need to straighten things out. Since it doesn't seem like you're sure, mention the cheating part only if the timing's right. And explain that you want this relationship to be more definite, either to stand or to part, not vague as it seems now.

Quote:
 
He later explained himself and said that he does not yet know. So my advice doesn't apply for that situation. So before everyone jumps down my throat, please pay attention to the timing of my post.

Well I was looking at your post as a perspective of if he knew his girlfriend was cheating. So I said in response that you shouldn't be so aggressive about it, but you should make your point clear.
Quote:
 
Didn't I say that "Personally I don't want my heart and my wallet annihilated when I find out my wife is cheating."? That will happen.

All I really want to say is: Go, enjoy being 19 while you can. Have fun, and don't miss out on going with the boys somewhere because your girlfriend wont let you! Does that make any sense?

While that has its merits, what will you do once you get older? Will you actually commit?

Also, I've seen successful couples at younger age, and how that benefits their children because of closer connection between them and their parents, so don't be so pessimistic. People that take relationships seriously don't really take risks like that until they find that they're ready/well-matched/trusting to bond in a commitment.
Offline Profile Goto Top
 
LABaller
Member Avatar
Latino Heat
[ *  *  *  *  * ]
Quote:
 
Well I was looking at your post as a perspective of if he knew his girlfriend was cheating. So I said in response that you shouldn't be so aggressive about it, but you should make your point clear.


Sorry if you took it as aggressive. I don't see it that way. I was as clear as I possibly could have been, because that is the overall message of my posts.
Offline Profile Goto Top
 
Sithis's Embrace
Member Avatar
The ongoing, on-air, adult education course
[ * ]
LABaller
July 18, 2007 02:26 PM
Sithis's Embrace
July 18, 2007 02:23 PM
Scotty
July 18, 2007 02:05 PM
Um, right. That's nice and all, but the topic creator wanted to know how to have a serious conversation with his girlfriend, not about your phobia of women.

Didn't I say that "Personally I don't want my heart and my wallet annihilated when I find out my wife is cheating."? That will happen.

All I really want to say is: Go, enjoy being 19 while you can. Have fun, and don't miss out on going with the boys somewhere because your girlfriend wont let you! Does that make any sense?

I agree with that reasoning. While you're young, meet as many women as you'd like. You don't need to tie yourself down so quickly at 19 yrs. old. The more women you meet, the closer you'll be to finding someone that you might enjoy settling down with.

But when you make a commitment (and that can be much earlier than engagement), and your faith waivers, it's not worth continuing in my opinion.

And that includes at your age. If your significant other is just going around and screwing everyone else, and you don't like that, just leave. You don't have to tolerate that if you don't want to.

To further explain, 19 is WAY to young to have a girlfriend. 26 is the outskirts of how old you should be before getting into a relationship. 28 is ideal. Generally women are dreamkillers. They hold you back to pay attention to them instead of doing what is required to acheive your dream. When you were six, didn't you want to be a Firefighter or something like that? That probably won't happen if you have a girlfriend.

EDIT: You're 18? Even worse! Don't you want to have fun with the boys now and then?
Offline Profile Goto Top
 
Dropkicksidekick
Member Avatar
Member
[ *  *  *  * ]
Actually, from the first page I mentioned about the cheating part. My friend is on a sidekick, and asked me for advice. I had none so I posted it here to help out, but I'm also going through relationship problems, trying to talk to my girlfriend, and so I added a question in their for me in my original post.
Offline Profile Goto Top
 
cvn-tv-dip
Member
[ *  *  *  *  *  * ]
Quote:
 
To further explain, 19 is WAY to young to have a girlfriend. 26 is the outskirts of how old you should be before getting into a relationship. 28 is ideal. Generally women are dreamkillers. They hold you back to pay attention to them instead of doing what is required to acheive your dream. When you were six, didn't you want to be a Firefighter or something like that? That probably won't happen if you have a girlfriend.

I'd rather be abstinent and not go in any wild directions until that ideal age arrives.

Oh and LABaller I meant you as someone in DKSK's situation and not you that posted your point, to clarify.

Offline Profile Goto Top
 
Sithis's Embrace
Member Avatar
The ongoing, on-air, adult education course
[ * ]
cvn-tv-dip
July 18, 2007 02:36 PM
I'd rather be abstinent and not go in any wild directions until that ideal age arrives.

Where did abstinence come from?
Offline Profile Goto Top
 
cvn-tv-dip
Member
[ *  *  *  *  *  * ]
Sithis's Embrace
July 18, 2007 11:38 AM
cvn-tv-dip
July 18, 2007 02:36 PM
I'd rather be abstinent and not go in any wild directions until that ideal age arrives.

Where did abstinence come from?

Tom Leykis.

Wikipedia Article
 
The goal of the rules of "Leykis 101" is to help single men, especially men in their 20s, get the most sex for the least amount of effort and money possible


Leykis 101 (first Google search result)
 
Leykis 101 is a series of tenets created by US radio personality Tom Leykis, aimed at giving advice male listeners how to get the most sex with minimal time, effort, and money. The men who follow this advice are referred to as "Leykis 101 Students", and Tom Leykis is referred to as "The Professor." Women are encouraged to listen to learn how men behave and think. Some topics include women with a third hole and fugly women. Remember to listen to the professor live everyday.
Offline Profile Goto Top
 
Dropkicksidekick
Member Avatar
Member
[ *  *  *  * ]
I guess, In conclusion, I've analyzed most of the data given and almost everything mentioned has already been tried. So I guess, if she hasn't opened up to me by now, either, there's nothing wrong, or she's not going to tell me. Maybe it's me that's really not ready, but yet, this is the person I want to stay with because in all reality, I love her. I'd do anything for her, I'd always be there for her no matter what, and I want it to last. I guess the best I can do is always be there for her, and have faith and trust in her.

Very good discussion everyone, and thanks for talking to me.
Offline Profile Goto Top
 
Sithis's Embrace
Member Avatar
The ongoing, on-air, adult education course
[ * ]
Hey read this article.

I think I've made my point.
Offline Profile Goto Top
 
Dropkicksidekick
Member Avatar
Member
[ *  *  *  * ]
If you look and examine the topic title though, it was mainly for girls point of view. Because girls are hard to understand and coming from a bunch of guys that probably don't understand the way they think we'll probably never know. So I wanted to see what some girls though about the situation.

One man doesn't speak for us all.
Offline Profile Goto Top
 
cvn-tv-dip
Member
[ *  *  *  *  *  * ]
Sithis's Embrace
July 18, 2007 11:55 AM
Hey read this article.

I think I've made my point.

That's one example. Don't forget the population that does have successful marriages.
Offline Profile Goto Top
 
1 user reading this topic (1 Guest and 0 Anonymous)
Go to Next Page
« Previous Topic · Community Chat · Next Topic »
Locked Topic
  • Pages:
  • 1
  • 3