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| A Lovely Disposition (Poem) | |
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| Tweet Topic Started: Jan 13 2005, 11:17 PM (255 Views) | |
| Sytex | Jan 13 2005, 11:17 PM Post #1 |
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AEKDB
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This is my latest poem; it's a romantic poem which explains that my love remains for the one who broke my heart... (I haven't had my heart broken; it's just a poem)... What do you think of it? :haha:
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| Dusty | Jan 13 2005, 11:19 PM Post #2 |
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Whoa, your good. Very good, Keep it up. |
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| Lukeage | Jan 13 2005, 11:23 PM Post #3 |
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Demicks/Demix/Demixxx
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Nice,not sure about all of the "hath's" though,But nice!
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| trueballer | Jan 13 2005, 11:33 PM Post #4 |
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I'm back :p
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*Whipes Tears* lol, Beau-ti-ful
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| zakb | Jan 13 2005, 11:34 PM Post #5 |
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yeah man speak english. i have a sweet poem. roses are red violets are blue that's what they tell me because im blind |
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| Sytex | Jan 13 2005, 11:53 PM Post #6 |
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AEKDB
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(It is English, btw... <_< ) Thanks! Glad you like it.
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| Timeless Grudge | Jan 13 2005, 11:57 PM Post #7 |
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Lovely,I just love your poem.*Collects friends to computer*Whatcha think guys? Emily: Whoah deep.. Cory: That's freak'in kool.Dude keep it up. (Just to tell ya,that's they're actual oppinions,Lol )
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| Locke | Jan 13 2005, 11:59 PM Post #8 |
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That one guy
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I'd say ditch the imitation of middle english speaking. Its not working for that poem. Also, in my opinion, you should stay away from starting two lines in a row with the same word. It messes up the rhythm/smoothness in my opinion. Its pretty good overall. |
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| trueballer | Jan 14 2005, 12:04 AM Post #9 |
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I'm back :p
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What if he spoke like that lol :rolleyes: |
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| zakb | Jan 14 2005, 12:09 AM Post #10 |
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no one speaks like that |
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| Locke | Jan 14 2005, 12:22 AM Post #11 |
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That one guy
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Somehow I doubt that. Also, even in the middle english, the sentences don't form properly. Its like: "Has my soul remain content Has take my heart and break it" That doesn't make much sense.
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| Sytex | Jan 14 2005, 12:25 AM Post #12 |
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AEKDB
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I'm new at this Old-English thing. I thought hath meant have... :haha: |
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| Locke | Jan 14 2005, 12:31 AM Post #13 |
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That one guy
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I'm pretty sure it means has.
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| sozo | Jan 14 2005, 01:46 AM Post #14 |
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Resident Pentecostal
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good job! I'm impressed! |
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| Trav-man | Jan 14 2005, 11:04 AM Post #15 |
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That's Travtastic!
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:haha: lol! Nice poem HBK, I do agree with Locke tho on what he's said I just probably wouldn't have went out and said it myself. :S |
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