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Gogole Gulp; Gogole moves to soft drinks
Topic Started: Apr 1 2005, 06:15 PM (456 Views)
Oblivion.
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*waves*
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Google has moved to the soft drinks market :)

http://www.google.com/googlegulp/

Think fruity. Think refreshing.
Think a DNA scanner embedded in the lip of your bottle reading all 3 gigabytes of your base pair genetic data in a fraction of a second, fine-tuning your individual hormonal cocktail in real time using our patented Auto-Drink™ technology, and slamming a truckload of electrolytic neurotransmitter smart-drug stimulants past the blood-brain barrier to achieve maximum optimization of your soon-to-be-grateful cerebral cortex. Plus, it's low in carbs! And with flavors ranging from Beta Carroty to Glutamate Grape, you'll never run out of ways to quench your thirst for knowledge.
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LttlVprScrpn
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^_^
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April fools?...
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iFrank
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you wear diapers...
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those look computer drawn... happy april fools....
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TeeSee
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fish and chips.. yummy
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:haha: I saw this earlier, the FAQ section is the funniest :haha:
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Vettore
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DON VETTORE
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I saw this earlier, april fools?
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Tyrving
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07.01.06 - 01.12.08
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I think it's April Fools; look at the Frequently asked questions. :P
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iFrank
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you wear diapers...
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this looks like a joke, is totally un-profesional...
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RagingFuryBlack
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Member
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lmfao XD
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Surferdude
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The FAQ is hilarious...

Quote:
 
2. Wait – you're saying Auto-Drink™ changes my brain chemistry?

Um, yeah – but for the better.


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3. Isn't that kind of dangerous?

Well, none of the lab rats who've been pounding this stuff for the past eight months have keeled over yet, which we find fairly reassuring. At any rate, you should be aware that by popping the seal on the twist-off Gulp cap, you send a wireless signal to Google's servers indicating your irrevocable acceptance of the Google Gulp Terms and Conditions, which do include the possibility, however remote, of hideous genetic mutation resulting from your consumption of this product. We're pretty sure you won't die, though.


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9. I mean, isn't this whole invite-only thing kind of bogus?

Dude, it's like you've never even heard of viral marketing.


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11. When will you take Google Gulp out of beta?

Man, if you pressure us, you just drive us away. We'll commit when we're ready, okay? Besides, what's so great about taking things out of beta? It ruins all the romance, the challenge, the possibilities, the right to explore. Carpe diem, ya know? Maybe we're jaded, but we've seen all these other companies leap headlong into 1.0, thinking their product is exactly what they've been dreaming of all their lives, that everything is perfect and hunky-dory – and the next thing you know some vanilla copycat release from Redmond is kicking their butt, the Board is holding emergency meetings and the CEO is on CNBC blathering sweatily about "a new direction" and "getting back to basics." No thanks, man. We like our freedom.


:haha:
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Ignite
|g|\|1-|-3
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LMAO... >_<
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lukyboy2435
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Monday-8 EST-FOX
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Quote:
 
From time to time, in order to improve Google Gulp's usefulness for our users, Google Gulp will send packets of data related to your usage of this product from a wireless transmitter embedded in the base of your Google Gulp bottle to the GulpPlex™, a heavily guarded, massively parallel server farm whose location is known only to Eric Schmidt, who carries its GPS coordinates on a 64-bit-encrypted smart card locked in a stainless-steel briefcase handcuffed to his right wrist. No personally identifiable information of any kind related to your consumption of Google Gulp or any other current or future Google Foods product will ever be given, sold, bartered, auctioned off, tossed into a late-night poker pot, or otherwise transferred in any way to any untrustworthy third party, ever, we swear. See our Privacy Policy.

Their Privacy Policy
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The Skin
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Lol, that is kind of funny.

Just don't see google pulling a April fools joke like that.
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Aaron-ZNR
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seek a newer world
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I got a gulp cap in the mail and now my brain is owned in part by google!

:D
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iFrank
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you wear diapers...
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all that web work for nothing
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Shinzo
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What the greed?!
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Hah! That is pretty funny!
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