| We hope you enjoy your visit. You're currently viewing our forum as a guest. This means you are limited to certain areas of the board and there are some features you can't use. If you join our community, you'll be able to access member-only sections, and use many member-only features such as customizing your profile, sending personal messages, and voting in polls. Registration is simple, fast, and completely free. Join our community! If you're already a member please log in to your account to access all of our features: |
| Bad Jokes | |
|---|---|
| Tweet Topic Started: Jul 13 2005, 10:21 AM (713 Views) | |
| Darious | Jul 13 2005, 10:21 AM Post #1 |
![]()
Member
![]() ![]() ![]()
|
Two antenna's meet on a roof, fall in love and get married. The ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was excellent. A jumper cable walks into a bar. The bartender says "I'll serve you, but don't start anything" A sandwich walks into a bar. The bartender says "Sorry we don't serve food here." A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm and says "A beer please, and one for the road." Two cannibals are eating a clown. One says to the other "Does this taste funny to you? Doc-I can't stop singing "The green green grass of Home" that sounds like Tom Jones Syndrome. "Is it common? It's not unusual Two cows standing next to each other in a field Daisy says to Dolly "I was artificially inseminated this morning. "I don't believe you, said Dolly. "It's true, no bull, exclaimed Daisy." An invisible man marries an invisible woman. The kids were nothing to look at either. A man takes his rotweiller to the vet and says "My dog's cross eyed, is there anything you can do for him? "Well says the vet, let's have a look at him. So he picks up the dog and examines his eyes, then checks his teeth. Finally he says I'm going to have to put him down. What? Because he's cross-eyed? "No because he's really heavy" I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn't find any I went to the butcher the other day and I bet him 50 bucks that he couldn't reach the meat off the top shelf. He said, "No the steaks are too high" A man woke up in a hospital after a serious accident. He shouted, "Doctor, I can't feel my legs" The doctor replied, "I know you can't I've cut off your arms I went to a seafood disco last week - and pulled a mussel. Two termites walk into a bar. One asks "Is the bar tender here?" _________________ |
![]() |
|
| Marxist | Jul 13 2005, 10:22 AM Post #2 |
![]()
The Comedian
![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]()
|
What do you call sweet corn that's not sweet? Corn. |
![]() |
|
| Vettore | Jul 13 2005, 11:11 AM Post #3 |
![]()
DON VETTORE
![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]()
|
What do you call a tooth with a brush? Toothbrush. |
![]() |
|
| dizo123 | Jul 13 2005, 12:25 PM Post #4 |
![]()
Member
![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]()
|
classics why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side why di the orange stop? because he ran out of juice :unaware: |
![]() |
|
| Sonic Blaze | Jul 13 2005, 05:58 PM Post #5 |
|
Member
![]() ![]() ![]()
|
A blonde walks into a bar and says ouch |
![]() |
|
| Stephen-ZNR | Jul 13 2005, 06:27 PM Post #6 |
![]()
stop it. no srsly.
![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]()
|
|
![]() |
|
| Juano | Jul 13 2005, 08:00 PM Post #7 |
|
Juano
![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]()
|
What do you get when you cross goat with cheese, goatcheese
|
![]() |
|
| arkaton | Jul 13 2005, 09:11 PM Post #8 |
|
Member
![]() ![]() ![]()
|
What don you get when you cross two gay people? Two Gay People. xD |
![]() |
|
| delete_account_please | Jul 14 2005, 04:53 AM Post #9 |
|
Member
![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]()
|
One day a brunnete was driving home from work, as she got out of the car she heard her blonde neighbor crying. "Oh my god what wrong?" the brunnete asked. "My mother just died!" said the blonde crying out. The brunnete feeling sorry for the blonde comforted her for the whole day. The next day the brunnete saw the blonde crying outside. "Now what the hell is wrong?!" said the brunnete. "Ohh, it's terrible...my sister called, and her mother died too!" *sorry blondes* |
![]() |
|
| Darious | Jul 14 2005, 09:54 AM Post #10 |
![]()
Member
![]() ![]() ![]()
|
A parsley farmer fell behind in his payments for the farm. When the bank stepped in to take over, they said that they would have to "garnish" his wages. :haha: |
![]() |
|
| Sketch.Pad | Jul 14 2005, 10:27 AM Post #11 |
|
Member
![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]()
|
Did you hear about the Pirate Porno Movie? 'Twas rated 'ARGHHHHHHH' :haha: :haha: :haha: |
![]() |
|
| Chaundra | Jul 14 2005, 06:56 PM Post #12 |
|
Member
![]() ![]() ![]() ![]()
|
What did one wall say to the other wall? meet you at the corner What did the rug say to the floor? gotcha covered One hot summer day two friends, Steve and Bob, walk into a Wendy's. Bob orders a burger and Steve orders a bowl of chili. They get their order and sit down at the table. Bob watches as Steve puts on a sweater before he starts eating. Bob asks him why he put on a sweater before he started eating. "Because it's chili." Why did the football player tackle the phonebooth? because he couldn't get his quarter back What did Mama bread say to Papa bread? quit loafing around What kind of sandwiches do ghosts like? boo-loney okay I'll stop here before someone jumps off a bridge.
|
![]() |
|
| Mistress Kame | Jul 14 2005, 10:02 PM Post #13 |
|
Member
![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]()
|
What's brown and sticky? a stick. |
![]() |
|
| delete_account_please | Jul 14 2005, 10:16 PM Post #14 |
|
Member
![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]()
|
Hey a blonde wins atlast A lawyer and a blonde are sitting next to each other on a long flight from LA to NY.The lawyer leans over to her and asks if she would like to play a fun game. The blonde just wants to take a nap, so she politely declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few winks. The lawyer persists and explains that the game is really easy and a lot of fun. He explains" I ask you a question, and if you don't know the answer, you pay me $5, and vice-versa." Again, she politely declines and tries to get some sleep. The lawyer, now somewhat agitated, says, "Okay, if you don't know the answer you pay me $5, and if I don't know the answer, I will pay you $500!." Figuring that since she is a blonde that he will easily win the match. This catches the blonde's attention and, figuring that there will be no end to this torment unless she plays, agrees to the game. The lawyer asks the first question. "What's the distance from the earth to the moon?" The blonde doesn't say a word, reaches in to her purse, pulls out a five dollar bill and hands it to the lawyer. Now, it's the blonde's turn. She asks the lawyer: "What goes up a hill with three legs, and comes down with four?" The lawyer looks at her with a puzzled look. He takes out his laptop computer and searches all his references.He taps into the Airphone with his modem and searches the Net and the Library of Congress. Frustrated, he sends E-mails to all his coworkers and friends he knows. All to no avail. Afterover an hour, he wakes the blonde and hands her $500. The blonde politely takes the $500 and turns away to get back to sleep. The lawyer, who is more than a little miffed, wakes the blonde and asks, "Well, so what IS the answer!?" Without a word, the blonde reaches into her purse, hands the lawyer $5, and goes back to sleep. |
![]() |
|
| Vault | Jul 18 2005, 02:17 PM Post #15 |
|
Member
![]() ![]() ![]() ![]()
|
they are bad |
![]() |
|
| 1 user reading this topic (1 Guest and 0 Anonymous) | |
|
|
| « Previous Topic · Community Games · Next Topic » |
| Track Topic · E-mail Topic |
3:18 PM Jul 11
|




![]](http://b1.ifrm.com/0/1/0/p601690/pipright.png)








3:18 PM Jul 11