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Exec Failure pt. 1; Poem by me
Topic Started: Oct 17 2005, 03:19 AM (312 Views)
Iginla
I left sz
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When I posted it a couple weeks back it had no replies so Im reposting. IF YOU COME IN AND DONT REPLY ILL EAT YOU!

<3?

Quote:
 

Exec Failure pt.1

The blackened night,
The stars are set correctly tonight.
I feel a presence,
Tell me what this represents?

My thoughts betray me,
Into a universe away from me.
It might take more time then I think,
Between reality and insanity, there is no link.

The reason for my questioning,
Is I can't seem to answer myself.
If I stay here the rest of my life,
Will I be sought out in my strife?

Casual conversation seems hard,
I'm filled with wonder and disregard.
I don't seem to be contained to this,
I can't seem to keep my focus.

This is too hard for me to say,
I don't expect you to understand...
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cwetheri
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Member
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I like it, very expressive. (Please don't eat me)
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Iginla
I left sz
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cwetheri
Oct 17 2005, 03:52 AM
I like it, very expressive. (Please don't eat me)

Thanks. That's a good thing :P
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Sarah.
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a trip and a half]. 303'32
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It's not bad... but at a few parts it seems like your stressing the rhyming pattern, if it flowed a little more smoothly, it might be better... it may just be the way I'm reading it though. ...And I don't really get a point from it.
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jelly belly
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The SZ asshole
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rhyming night and tonight soooo does NOT work. it just sounds retarted, same with rhyming me and me.
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Iginla
I left sz
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n.ick
Oct 18 2005, 08:06 PM
rhyming night and tonight soooo does NOT work. it just sounds retarted, same with rhyming me and me.

It's my own style. I don't really ryme everything.





But alexisonfire is cool though...
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jelly belly
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The SZ asshole
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Quote:
 
It's my own style. I don't really ryme everything.

i know but rhyminng night and tonight just sounds lame, no offence.
Quote:
 
But alexisonfire is cool though...

ya man alexisonfrie rocks
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Iginla
I left sz
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n.ick
Oct 19 2005, 12:53 PM
Quote:
 
It's my own style. I don't really ryme everything.

i know but rhyminng night and tonight just sounds lame, no offence.
Quote:
 
But alexisonfire is cool though...

ya man alexisonfrie rocks

None taken. Critisism always helps.
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Celia
Ð3AÐ
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Nice. Its a hell of alot better then what I could come up with. :S
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Iginla
I left sz
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Thanks :D

I'm in the process of writing the sequel. It's gonna be most unpresidented.
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