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| Tweet Topic Started: Dec 1 2008, 02:02 AM (153 Views) | |
| Rae | Dec 1 2008, 02:02 AM Post #1 |
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just be ræl
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I think writing is an art. http://raestarize.deviantart.com/art/Before-You-Die-105108062 So yes, this is poetry. I hope you like it. Read the description, comment, and fav on dA if you want.
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| XxPostXx | Dec 6 2008, 05:43 PM Post #2 |
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Member
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Wow, That really can speak to some people but great poetry I hope to see more from you!
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| Deletion. | Dec 6 2008, 05:47 PM Post #3 |
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loldedicated
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Not bad, but I think you are trying to make the words rhyme too much. Within the first couple stanza's it's almost like the last syllable is identical to the next.. making it repetitive and boring. Now, I'm no poetry master (that's probably better than any attempt I've ever made at poetry) but I'm just stating my opinion. ![]() And yeah, definitely an art form.
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| .Danilo | Dec 6 2008, 06:24 PM Post #4 |
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the original pirate
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I agree with Deletion. It looks that you worked so hard to make words rhyme that it looks a bit artificial. Poetry doesn't necessarily need to rhyme, it just needs rhythmn. In fact I enjoy a lot more modern and concrete poetry than ones full of frills and rhymes. Just my two cents. And yeah, definitely an art forum. Keep it up.
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| Arianna | Dec 6 2008, 06:44 PM Post #5 |
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Never settle for a half measure.
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Yeah, the rhythm needs work. It's a good piece though, I'd like to see more from you.
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| Rae | Dec 7 2008, 09:49 PM Post #6 |
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just be ræl
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Good point. I'll try that next time. ![]() Thanks for commenting. |
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