| We hope you enjoy your visit. You're currently viewing our forum as a guest. This means you are limited to certain areas of the board and there are some features you can't use. If you join our community, you'll be able to access member-only sections, and use many member-only features such as customizing your profile, sending personal messages, and voting in polls. Registration is simple, fast, and completely free. Join our community! If you're already a member please log in to your account to access all of our features: |
- Pages:
- 1
- 2
| Rate my lyrics; Please rate my lyrics | |
|---|---|
| Tweet Topic Started: Jan 7 2007, 02:51 PM (601 Views) | |
| munty | Jan 7 2007, 02:51 PM Post #1 |
|
Member
![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]()
|
Been writing for a few months, mainly garage and grime stuff (thats the uk Hip Hop n rap) just wanted some feedback #1 black youth claiming they abused slave driven and used but the cold hard truth is that they aint willin to accept the concept that well all on the same base always moaning, groaning jumping on our case wont be happy till they the predominant race and thats abit of a disgrace i didnt just the colour of the skin on my face so whos this kid to tell me am wrong and he's right this isnt a case of black vs white this is a case of aggression and spite n they expect me not to bite back cos if i do am a racist against the black it was their ancestors unda attack and the white youth of today had noting to do with that so whos this kid with a chip on his shoulder making threats like some kind of hollywood soldier i already told ya i aint one for fighting back just gonna realse this track n make them realize that they mislaid their hate n the fate of their ancestors aint their fate they need to have more faith in the white of today! #2 some feelings inside that i just can't hide but i fear the worst that i mite despise the guy that gave me life i love u dad, but i gotta say bye am a full grown guy and am writting my on ryhme all i need is some time ill be ok n ill be fine just want a pay rise on the 9 till 5 somat to ease my mind, to ease my pain with nothing to lose and nothing to gain mc munty and am coming on in a ring a ding ding passing the mic to mc fresh let me hear u sing (then my mate does his bit) #3 all i want to do is write n write depiste the fact i lack a certain insite to write down anything that good it stems from not being in the hood but should you tell me am incapbable am liable, and justifiable to become deniable see my lyrics feed n breed of the hate u spray ill isolate myself for days n days n orchastrate whilst smoking the haze n when am ready to spit my new s*** ill spit my new s*** and blase the stage on a mission like a renegade make u realize u miss-laid ur hate but i can't get too irate had u not choosen to discriminate i wouldnt have the ability to create the ryhmes i write so i suppose in due time when am rich in my prime ill give u ur cut an throw u a dime! #4 the way the worlds set we are set for world war 3 cos america always seems to keen to deploy their fleet out in the middle east but doesnt that defear the notion of the word peace they need to stop acting the world police and release countries like iraq then the walls of war would crack because iraqi's wouldnt need to fight back and perhaps our goverments lack, lack the commen sence to see we depend on them, depend on them for oil and cheap labour so in reality its them that do us a favour! because we are a leading member of the un doesnt give us the right to discriminate them! need to resurrect jesus from Jerusalem! because the sin he had erased has now been completly replaced! C&C is very much wanted and welcomed thanks |
![]() |
|
| TeeSee | Jan 8 2007, 02:27 PM Post #2 |
![]()
fish and chips.. yummy
![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]()
|
The 3rd verse is nice.. I'm not feeling the message of the 1st verse at all though. |
![]() |
|
| munty | Jan 9 2007, 12:56 PM Post #3 |
|
Member
![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]()
|
ah, thanks what dont u like about the 1st verse, its not racist, its more anti rascium then anything else! |
![]() |
|
| Linkman | Jan 9 2007, 03:01 PM Post #4 |
![]()
it's an illusion.
![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]()
|
I like the first one..it's got a good and completely true message... haven't read #3 and #4 yet, #2's a bit to 'hip' for me, some people must like it. |
![]() |
|
| Nadja | Jan 9 2007, 04:41 PM Post #5 |
![]()
Member
![]() ![]() ![]()
|
i like the first one and i can hear the messages in the others but they dont reach me... i think the lyrics are just a bit too simplistic... good work tho! |
![]() |
|
| Guerilla Warfare120 | Jan 14 2007, 02:41 AM Post #6 |
|
Member
![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]()
|
Black youth ARE abused by white people daily. |
![]() |
|
| Rezurrekted | Jan 14 2007, 02:43 AM Post #7 |
|
Member
![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]()
|
No they're not.
|
![]() |
|
| Kevin | Jan 14 2007, 03:13 AM Post #8 |
|
paradise
![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]()
|
The only section I could make out was the first verse and it seems like a fitting topic to write lyrics about. |
![]() |
|
| Guerilla Warfare120 | Jan 15 2007, 02:02 AM Post #9 |
|
Member
![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]()
|
Yes they are. |
![]() |
|
| GDF | Jan 15 2007, 02:34 AM Post #10 |
|
Hey
![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]()
|
It goes both ways. I only read 1 and 2. One was decent, 2 was too cliche for me. |
![]() |
|
| UnExisting | Jan 15 2007, 07:19 PM Post #11 |
![]()
Jolted.
![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]()
|
So i take your British? Cause even at it being like a rap and gangster or whatever you want it to be called there are still noticeable errors but the messages do make lots of sense and are nice. 6.5/10 Keep working on them, and Good Job. Keep it going =] |
![]() |
|
| munty | Jan 16 2007, 06:46 AM Post #12 |
|
Member
![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]()
|
Am not saying that racism doenst take place, it just doesnt take place in the grand scale the black youth of today (i.e. rappers, gangsters) make it out to happen on! Thanks for the feed back, wrote another one recently! For every kid thats sat in fear, or for every kid who has shead a tear because their fathers had one to many beers tonite he's not known to fight, but when he is pissed he just mite bite, and strike out! and its the kid that gets the clout! It takes the piss when this sad excuse doesnt have the confidence to seduce a real women so he resorts to the miss-use of a little child while her mother sits in denile, getting blind drunk allows this ***** ass punk to abuse her daughter its the equivlant of sending her daughter to the slaughter! Its all well and good that we say we frown on this clown but whilst we're all unhappy he is still walking around because the goverments claiming they just dont have the ground to go head and press charges, explain that the little girl when he barges in, late at night! shes under fed so she's too weak to fight back! feels that the world is a living hell! and she's all alone, so she has no one to tell! and she doesnt have a tele so the helplines dont reach her! makin up excuse so she doesnt have to explain to her teacher that every time she goes home her step decides to beat her! and thats all i got so far, but i hope to make this one into a track! |
![]() |
|
| Rezurrekted | Jan 16 2007, 07:09 AM Post #13 |
|
Member
![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]()
|
No. They're not. :clown: |
![]() |
|
| Miraculas911 | Jan 16 2007, 03:01 PM Post #14 |
|
Member
![]() ![]() ![]() ![]()
|
:angel: Nice lyrics |
![]() |
|
| punk-emo-rocker | Jan 16 2007, 05:09 PM Post #15 |
|
Buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo.
![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]()
|
Very nice. I guess no one gives any love for poems, I've put poems in brain juice and nothing has happened. I guess if I call them lyrics people might actually give feedback? |
![]() |
|
| 1 user reading this topic (1 Guest and 0 Anonymous) | |
| Go to Next Page | |
| « Previous Topic · Community Chat · Next Topic » |
- Pages:
- 1
- 2
| Track Topic · E-mail Topic |
10:24 AM Jul 11
|



![]](http://b1.ifrm.com/0/1/0/p601690/pipright.png)







10:24 AM Jul 11