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Rate my lyrics; Please rate my lyrics
Topic Started: Jan 7 2007, 02:51 PM (599 Views)
munty
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Been writing for a few months, mainly garage and grime stuff (thats the uk Hip Hop n rap)

just wanted some feedback

#1
black youth claiming they abused
slave driven and used
but the cold hard truth
is that they aint willin to accept
the concept
that well all on the same base
always moaning, groaning
jumping on our case
wont be happy till they
the predominant race
and thats abit of a disgrace
i didnt just the colour of the skin on my face
so whos this kid to tell me am wrong and he's right
this isnt a case of black vs white
this is a case of aggression and spite
n they expect me not to bite back
cos if i do am a racist against the black
it was their ancestors unda attack
and the white youth of today had noting to do with that
so whos this kid with a chip on his shoulder
making threats like some kind of hollywood soldier
i already told ya
i aint one for fighting back
just gonna realse this track
n make them realize that
they mislaid their hate
n the fate of their ancestors
aint their fate
they need to have more faith
in the white of today!

#2
some feelings inside
that i just can't hide
but i fear the worst
that i mite despise
the guy that gave me life
i love u dad, but i gotta say bye
am a full grown guy
and am writting my on ryhme
all i need is some time
ill be ok n ill be fine
just want a pay rise
on the 9 till 5
somat to ease my mind, to ease my pain
with nothing to lose
and nothing to gain
mc munty and am coming on in
a ring a ding ding
passing the mic to mc fresh
let me hear u sing
(then my mate does his bit)

#3
all i want to do is write n write
depiste the fact i lack a certain insite
to write down anything that good
it stems from not being in the hood
but should you tell me am incapbable
am liable, and justifiable
to become deniable
see my lyrics feed n breed of the hate u spray
ill isolate myself for days n days
n orchastrate whilst smoking the haze
n when am ready to spit my new s***
ill spit my new s*** and blase the stage
on a mission like a renegade
make u realize u miss-laid ur hate
but i can't get too irate
had u not choosen to discriminate
i wouldnt have the ability to create
the ryhmes i write
so i suppose in due time
when am rich in my prime
ill give u ur cut an throw u a dime!

#4
the way the worlds set
we are set for world war 3
cos america always seems to keen
to deploy their fleet out in the middle east
but doesnt that defear the notion of the word peace
they need to stop acting the world police
and release countries like iraq
then the walls of war would crack
because iraqi's wouldnt need to fight back
and perhaps our goverments lack,
lack the commen sence to see we depend on them,
depend on them for oil and cheap labour
so in reality its them that do us a favour!
because we are a leading member of the un
doesnt give us the right to discriminate them!
need to resurrect jesus from Jerusalem!
because the sin he had erased
has now been completly replaced!

C&C is very much wanted and welcomed

thanks
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TeeSee
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fish and chips.. yummy
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The 3rd verse is nice.. I'm not feeling the message of the 1st verse at all though.
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munty
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ah, thanks

what dont u like about the 1st verse, its not racist, its more anti rascium then anything else!
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Linkman
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it's an illusion.
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I like the first one..it's got a good and completely true message... haven't read #3 and #4 yet, #2's a bit to 'hip' for me, some people must like it.
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Nadja
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i like the first one and i can hear the messages in the others but they dont reach me... i think the lyrics are just a bit too simplistic... good work tho!
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Guerilla Warfare120
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Black youth ARE abused by white people daily.
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Rezurrekted
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Guerilla Warfare120
Jan 14 2007, 06:41 AM
Black youth ARE abused by white people daily.

No they're not. :wub:
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Kevin
paradise
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The only section I could make out was the first verse and it seems like a fitting topic to write lyrics about.
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Guerilla Warfare120
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Rezurrekted
Jan 14 2007, 06:43 AM
Guerilla Warfare120
Jan 14 2007, 06:41 AM
Black youth ARE abused by white people daily.

No they're not. :wub:

Yes they are.
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GDF
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Hey
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It goes both ways.

I only read 1 and 2. One was decent, 2 was too cliche for me.
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UnExisting
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Jolted.
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So i take your British? Cause even at it being like a rap and gangster or whatever you want it to be called there are still noticeable errors but the messages do make lots of sense and are nice.

6.5/10 Keep working on them, and Good Job. Keep it going =]
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munty
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Am not saying that racism doenst take place, it just doesnt take place in the grand scale the black youth of today (i.e. rappers, gangsters) make it out to happen on!

Thanks for the feed back, wrote another one recently!

For every kid thats sat in fear,
or for every kid who has shead a tear
because their fathers had one to many beers tonite
he's not known to fight,
but when he is pissed he just mite
bite, and strike out!
and its the kid that gets the clout!

It takes the piss when this sad excuse
doesnt have the confidence to seduce a real women
so he resorts to the miss-use of a little child
while her mother sits in denile, getting blind drunk
allows this ***** ass punk to abuse her daughter
its the equivlant of sending her daughter to the slaughter!

Its all well and good that we say we frown on this clown
but whilst we're all unhappy he is still walking around
because the goverments claiming they just dont have the ground
to go head and press charges, explain that the little girl
when he barges in, late at night!
shes under fed so she's too weak to fight back!
feels that the world is a living hell!
and she's all alone, so she has no one to tell!
and she doesnt have a tele so the helplines dont reach her!
makin up excuse so she doesnt have to explain to her teacher
that every time she goes home her step decides to beat her!


and thats all i got so far, but i hope to make this one into a track!
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Rezurrekted
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Guerilla Warfare120
Jan 15 2007, 06:02 AM
Rezurrekted
Jan 14 2007, 06:43 AM
Guerilla Warfare120
Jan 14 2007, 06:41 AM
Black youth ARE abused by white people daily.

No they're not. :wub:

Yes they are.

No. They're not. :clown:
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Miraculas911
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:angel: Nice lyrics
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punk-emo-rocker
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Buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo.
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Very nice.



I guess no one gives any love for poems, I've put poems in brain juice and nothing has happened. I guess if I call them lyrics people might actually give feedback?
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