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1st C4D LP, 2nd LP ever :D
Topic Started: Jul 17 2007, 02:04 PM (115 Views)
Scott [DF]
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why hello there
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http://www.deviantart.com/deviation/60010129/

FREAKIN SECKSY or no?
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Feignt
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and it all fades away
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I don't like the light in the middle, takes away.

But the rest is awesome. ^_^
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Scott [DF]
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why hello there
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I will remember that, I am trying to lower my opacity on the lighting and I just made a new LP so I think I did much better.
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Skyvale
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Thanks for the avatar, TTO!
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Feignt
Jul 17 2007, 07:23 PM
I don't like the light in the middle, takes away.


Agree'd.

I also think that it's too sharp.

But other than that it looks nice. :)
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Ideal
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hey there delilah
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I told him that I would review + add extra comments on this piece.

Mess. This is the first thing that comes to mind when I see the artwork. It just looks like a cluster of someone else's c4d render, mixed in with various low opacity stocks of scenery, and over sharpened so called 'focal point'. It doesn't look like your best, hell, it doesn't look like anyones best effort.

Let's start off with the c4d render. When you present your artwork on DeviantArt, or anywhere else for that matter, you must include the creators name, and maybe even a link to his page if you feel generous. It's one of the unspoken rules of graphics designers. I'm sure if you spent hours adding textures, designing and perfecting your render, you wouldn't like some beginning artist to come along and take your hard work and add it to his piece, would you? It's just like golf here, we have etiquette.

Next, I'm going to address the 'focal point'. I really don't know whats going on here. The render is just set smack dab in the middle of the piece, and it's just shooting out of anywhere, no sense of direction or flow. I'll get to those two aspects later. The render has some form of soft brushed cluster of colors in the middle. That seems like a feeble attempt to draw attention to the center of the piece. Rarely on lighter, more scenery oriented design, you wouldn't want it in the middle. The depth in the center isn't too bad, but it's not up to my standards.

Let's go to lighting/flow. There is barley any lighting. It's just one monotoned color array. No originality, no fun = no comment. I fail to see any sense of direction with the piece, it just seems rushed and not worth anyones time. Also, stop sharpening while you're behind. I've lost many designers to the temptation of the sharpening tool.

The bar code font thing at the bottom is horrid. It takes away from the piece, and it just flat out isn't cool. It needs to be removed, now. The alien font on the side too, makes it look really unprofessional and shows that you're very new to design.

I also have been noticing lately that you have been releasing a lot of work. You need to slow down on it. I don't go by "OMG 2ND DEZINE!!!", it's stupid. You should only release it if it is your best work to match your best effort. If it is anything below par, delete it. This makes you look like a better designer, and it shows you have brains.

I didn't give technical critique right now, I just worked 10 hours with screaming kids, so forgive me :)

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Jayster
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The Alchemy Index
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One topic per 24 hours. This is your last warning.
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