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| My Stand-Up Act; 5 Minute | |
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| Tweet Topic Started: Aug 25 2007, 01:52 PM (574 Views) | |
| .Will | Aug 25 2007, 01:52 PM Post #1 |
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I just want to see what people think of my small little stand-up act. --- (RANDOM OPENER) So, what I want to talk is the problems with social security and my solution. I did some thinking, and the problem with social security is old people. Think about this: they are taking up our hospital beds, and our air. Not only that, but they have that little bottle of air that you know they are just saving for later. So hears what I think we should do. The average life expectancy in America is about 74. So if you kill a 71 year-old, thats three years in jail. But if you kill a 77 year-old, thats 3 bonus years. So you "accidentally" kill a 77 year old, and hold onto those bonus years like tickets from Chuck-E-Cheese. Then, when you have a kid, you tell him to take out the trash and when he says no, hit him, hand in those tickets, you're off the hook. And your kid will never say no again. I know it's not that funny, but pretend you're drunk.
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| Demockracy | Aug 25 2007, 03:29 PM Post #2 |
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punk in drublic
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o_O |
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| fnkmshrm.2 | Aug 25 2007, 03:52 PM Post #3 |
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Call me stupid, but I don't really get it... ![]() |
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| Scotty. | Aug 25 2007, 04:09 PM Post #4 |
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...
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*pretends he's drunk* I can't feel it. :o |
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| Jam. | Aug 25 2007, 04:17 PM Post #5 |
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He who dares wins.
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It's a good job i'm not drunk, because i don't understand it sober. |
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| lukyboy2435 | Aug 25 2007, 07:19 PM Post #6 |
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Monday-8 EST-FOX
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I feel that's less funny than Carlos Mencia...and I didn't think anything could be less funny than him :o Seriously, I had to read it two or three times just to get what you ment, I'd work on clarity. Also, Social Security jokes are old, try picking another topic. |
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| Calabur | Aug 25 2007, 09:18 PM Post #7 |
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ルイス
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Don't give up the day job. haha.
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| Arianna | Aug 25 2007, 09:20 PM Post #8 |
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Never settle for a half measure.
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I got it ;). |
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| .esoteric | Aug 25 2007, 09:27 PM Post #9 |
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Laffy Taffy Rots Your Teeth
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I don't know if I got it, if I did it's really not funny. Up until the part with bonus years though it's okay, you could do what some comedians do and say something a little funny but say it in a funny way and you can get a laugh, I nearly cracked a smile at the part about old people taking up the air. Work on your phrasing, your first sentence confused the **** out of me, I had no clue what you meant, I thought you were telling a story about what happened when you went to the social security office (do those exist?) or something. And if you feel the need to make a joke about social security make it a one-liner or don't do it at all. |
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| Postulate | Aug 26 2007, 12:00 AM Post #10 |
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You're the point
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I thought it was pretty funny. You just need to phrase it better. It took me three reads to realize that the three years law was something you were proposing for the future. >.< |
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| TFK | Aug 26 2007, 01:12 AM Post #11 |
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i laughed
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| .Will | Aug 26 2007, 02:18 AM Post #12 |
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I know it's not too great, but I tried.
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| Spammy Sammy | Aug 26 2007, 02:25 AM Post #13 |
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carpe diem
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It's alright I guess, but it's like 1 minute, not 5. Maybe lengthening it would make it funnier, if you added the right stuff. |
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| .Will | Aug 26 2007, 02:29 AM Post #14 |
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I could actually slow it down assuming (well, hoping) I have to make time for laughter. And when I would say it, I would say it slowly considering acoustics, etc. |
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| Adamo | Aug 26 2007, 06:31 PM Post #15 |
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P-b-b-b-bleeeease...
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Well you're wrong then, sorry. |
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8:48 PM Jul 10
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And your kid will never say no again.








8:48 PM Jul 10