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22 year old guy with 16 year old girl; Am I right to be angry?
Topic Started: Sep 18 2007, 10:55 AM (81,499 Views)
Kianna-Ari
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I'd say it's more of a maturity issue than anything, however, your average high school girl can be talked into anything in the name of "love". Young, emotional, and incapabale of actually making a rational, reasonable decision about a relationship, or the majority of real life. Of course there are girls that aren't like this, but it is the majority. Why he feels the need to hit on a highschooler, other than the often stated view about guys like this that "girls his age have all rejected him" or "he couldn't really get a girl his age if he tried, he's too creepy" or simply because he can't imagine anyone out of highschool ever accepting him, I don't know, but I'd say a guy like that is the reason the term statutory rape was invented.
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SEOGrAve
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Dewayne2
Sep 18 2007, 10:55 AM
Hi. Long time reader, first time poster.

I found this in a fitness forum.

A guy, 22, wants to have sex with a girl who's 16. I'm the dad of a 1 year old daughter. I am worried about her enough as it is, but I cant think of how much I'd worry about this if this was my daughter. I'm angry about this guy doing this, am I right to be angry? What would you do if your daughter was in this situation?

(to make things equal, you can read the 22 year old guys side on his blog, http://www.becomingapua.com/2007/09/06/hav...a-16-year-old/)
Its obvious that the guy is not what he tells her to get her to like him, being 22yrs old and her being so young. Heck, if he told the truth he may be shot on the street. She's hotter than ever and easy to get interested. Going after someone who is 22 is so pointless because they are so set in their ways already.

Of course this doesn't mean its his fault. Let's face the facts. Even though we like to put all of the blame on the dude, what about the girl who is easily willing to let him rock her world? Isn't 16yrs old enough to be smart enough to be able to see through people and their evil plans of sexual intentions. Besides, if the girl is ready to give it all up like a sucker, then it doesn't really matter because when she is old enough she will just be chosen by the lower level people anyway, such as a women hater or something like that.

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Well, you shouldn't be doing this kind of stuff until you're married, but what's the difference between a 16 and an 18 year old other than age and the fact 18 year olds are considered adults?


I hope you realize that this is an optional rule that you have, not a legal responsibility.
Edited by SEOGrAve, Aug 21 2008, 07:52 PM.
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Kianna-Ari
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Its obvious that the guy is not what he tells her to get her to like him, being 22yrs old and her being so young. Heck, if he told the truth he may be shot on the street. She's hotter than ever and easy to get interested. Going after someone who is 22 is so pointless because they are so set in their ways already.

Of course this doesn't mean its his fault. Let's face the facts. Even though we like to put all of the blame on the dude, what about the girl who is easily willing to let him rock her world? Isn't 16yrs old enough to be smart enough to be able to see through people and their evil plans of sexual intentions. Besides, if the girl is ready to give it all up like a sucker, then it doesn't really matter because when she is old enough she will just be chosen by the lower level people anyway, such as a women hater or something like that.


set in their ways? that phrase is usually reserved for stubborn people over 70 that refuse to change, not ofr a person in their 20's. Usually a person in their 20's hasn't even found themselves yet, and if they are so lucky as to have done so, they aren't the mature, older, responsible person they may become who will do the same things over and over because it's necessary. They are usually more willing to try new things, yet have enough of a basic grasp to know if they will hate something, which is a good thing so that if they try something new they don't ruin the whole thing by hating it. Meanwhile a 16 year old is young, has no clue what they personally like, or what they want out of life, or what new things they would like to try, because life is centered around their friends. Not to mention physically, a 16 year old is not fully developed, and won't be for another 5 years. Women reach their physical peak about 21.

Yes, the girl is clearly being stupid, however she's in way over her head and has no hope of understanding what's going on. She only knows that she's "in love" and that it will last "forever" and he's an adult, older, wiser, and more manipulative than she can possibly expect. Not to mention as the adult it's his responsibility to say no, to stop things. She's the child, he's the adult, he's a big boy, he knows how to say "no" and if that word fails to come out of his mouth in a serious manner, the responsibility lies on him because he is the adult in the situation.
Edited by Kianna-Ari, Aug 21 2008, 10:02 PM.
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SEOGrAve
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Quote:
 
set in their ways? that phrase is usually reserved for stubborn people over 70 that refuse to change, not ofr a person in their 20's. Usually a person in their 20's hasn't even found themselves yet, and if they are so lucky as to have done so, they aren't the mature, older, responsible person they may become who will do the same things over and over because it's necessary. They are usually more willing to try new things, yet have enough of a basic grasp to know if they will hate something, which is a good thing so that if they try something new they don't ruin the whole thing by hating it. Meanwhile a 16 year old is young, has no clue what they personally like, or what they want out of life, or what new things they would like to try, because life is centered around their friends. Not to mention physically, a 16 year old is not fully developed, and won't be for another 5 years. Women reach their physical peak about 21.

Yes, the girl is clearly being stupid, however she's in way over her head and has no hope of understanding what's going on. She only knows that she's "in love" and that it will last "forever" and he's an adult, older, wiser, and more manipulative than she can possibly expect. Not to mention as the adult it's his responsibility to say no, to stop things. She's the child, he's the adult, he's a big boy, he knows how to say "no" and if that word fails to come out of his mouth in a serious manner, the responsibility lies on him because he is the adult in the situation.


Makes sense to me. THe only thing I was thinking about was the part where you said "she's in love and it will last forever". I assumed we were talking about the typical teen, which is "She's so popular and cool".
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Kianna-Ari
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SEOGrAve
Aug 22 2008, 03:01 PM
Quote:
 
set in their ways? that phrase is usually reserved for stubborn people over 70 that refuse to change, not ofr a person in their 20's. Usually a person in their 20's hasn't even found themselves yet, and if they are so lucky as to have done so, they aren't the mature, older, responsible person they may become who will do the same things over and over because it's necessary. They are usually more willing to try new things, yet have enough of a basic grasp to know if they will hate something, which is a good thing so that if they try something new they don't ruin the whole thing by hating it. Meanwhile a 16 year old is young, has no clue what they personally like, or what they want out of life, or what new things they would like to try, because life is centered around their friends. Not to mention physically, a 16 year old is not fully developed, and won't be for another 5 years. Women reach their physical peak about 21.

Yes, the girl is clearly being stupid, however she's in way over her head and has no hope of understanding what's going on. She only knows that she's "in love" and that it will last "forever" and he's an adult, older, wiser, and more manipulative than she can possibly expect. Not to mention as the adult it's his responsibility to say no, to stop things. She's the child, he's the adult, he's a big boy, he knows how to say "no" and if that word fails to come out of his mouth in a serious manner, the responsibility lies on him because he is the adult in the situation.


Makes sense to me. THe only thing I was thinking about was the part where you said "she's in love and it will last forever". I assumed we were talking about the typical teen, which is "She's so popular and cool".
Good point. I was just refering to the feeling many seem to get when they get infatuated, that it's love and it will last forever. I didn't think of the popularity and "coolness" aspect.
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black lotus
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Someone who is 16 years old is old enough to decide to whawtever she wants, ofcourse if she does things under pressure or against here will. but if 2 people love each other and the age is 6 years differents i see no bad things. ofcourse things will be otherwise if we talk about kids and stuff that are reallu under the age of 16 and are really exploring the world. ut i think most of the teenagers at the age of 16 know very well what they doing.
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dzNick
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Seriously, I see nothing wrong with it.... it may be omg, 22, 16... 6 year difference... but think of this... a 50 year old sleeping with a 44 year old...? There's really not a big difference... Honestly if the 16 year old was alright with it... it's fine... end of story.
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Penitent
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Age of consent in many countries is 16.

Some countries it is lower.

If a 22 yo man is having sex with a 16yo woman there is public out cry. If a 40yo man is having sex with a 34yo woman there isn't.

Hypocrisy?

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Explosion Anomaly-ZNR
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Penitent
Sep 25 2008, 05:22 PM
Age of consent in many countries is 16.

Some countries it is lower.

If a 22 yo man is having sex with a 16yo woman there is public out cry. If a 40yo man is having sex with a 34yo woman there isn't.

Hypocrisy?

Percent difference.
Using that logic, it would be reasonable for a 6 year old to have sex with a fetus, despite the fact that the 6 year old is 600% older than the fetus.
A 22 year old is ~25-30% older than a 16 year old.
A 40 year old is closer to 15% older than a 34 year old.

Remember the pervert equation, my friends: your age divided by two plus seven. If you are dating someone who is younger than your age divided by two plus seven, you have a problem.
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lostforwords
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Explosion Anomaly
Oct 13 2008, 07:59 PM
Penitent
Sep 25 2008, 05:22 PM
Age of consent in many countries is 16.

Some countries it is lower.

If a 22 yo man is having sex with a 16yo woman there is public out cry. If a 40yo man is having sex with a 34yo woman there isn't.

Hypocrisy?

Percent difference.
Using that logic, it would be reasonable for a 6 year old to have sex with a fetus, despite the fact that the 6 year old is 600% older than the fetus.
A 22 year old is ~25-30% older than a 16 year old.
A 40 year old is closer to 15% older than a 34 year old.

Remember the pervert equation, my friends: your age divided by two plus seven. If you are dating someone who is younger than your age divided by two plus seven, you have a problem.
I'm 15 and my boyfriend is 18, do we have a problem? We've been together for 2 years and have had sex. We both have no problem with it, and we're in love.

Just because there's an age gap, doesn't mean they aren't mature and can't make their own decisions whether to have sex or not. I'm sure the 16 year old will know full well what sex means, what it will do to her and how to stay protected, so I'd trust her enough to make her own decision.
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TragicFlow
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I don't really think there's anything wrong with it. If they both feel they're ready for it and are both willing to have sex then who's to stop them?

But If I was 16, I don't think my parents would be very pleased if my 22 year old boyfriend/girlfriend wanted to have sex with me :P .
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MiakoSamuio
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Six years of age difference isn't really that much - As they get older it will become even less
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Prekaz
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If it was my daughter, there's no way in hell I'd let that happen or even have them see each other. I really wouldn't care about how much they like each other or how long they have known each other -- it's just not going to happen.

Although, if she was around 20 and wanted to get into a relationship with someone around 25 (just as an example), I wouldn't have a problem with that. But yeah, I couldn't imagine my daughter as a teen going into a relationship with someone that much older yet alone have sexual intercourse with that old of a person or even someone the same age.

As for the age gap that I'm seeing being discussed, I think it depends on where the age gap is (if that makes any sense).
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JJC
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As a father of both boys and girls (19, 16 and 19 foster daughter) I can say from experience that at 16 years old she is not mature enough to make that kind of decision and if you are saying "it's only sex" or "she is very mature for her age" then you are fooling yourself or just have no clue. The age difference has nothing to do with this. It's all about the maturity of individuals, or lack thereof. If she were 20 and he was 30 then one could say she is an adult and has the "maturity" to make her own decision. As far as being angry towards the man, it's only natural. Especially for a father when it concerns his daughter. There are few things in this world more protective than a loving human father for their daughter.
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GDI_Leo
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Its a bit of a tough decision. I mean, if she was two years older, then she could do what ever she wanted, but as well all know. Or at least i know from my friends and stuff, the parents (at the end of the day) have very little say. There is six years between them, which isn't that much compared to some couples. Yes it is a bit too early to be having sex at that age and the 22 Year old should know better, but in the end, its their bodies, their choices, if both are safe, careful and sure, then can we really stop them? Love is something that is special to everyone, and this 16 year old has more then likely found her 'knight in shining armour' and hey. The 22 year old is gonna get enough rubbish and mick taking from his mates, she is of 'legal age' so it doesn't matter as there is no law broken.
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