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| 22 year old guy with 16 year old girl; Am I right to be angry? | |
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| Tweet Topic Started: Sep 18 2007, 10:55 AM (81,507 Views) | |
| Ryn | Sep 21 2007, 05:14 PM Post #31 |
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Actually I wasn't replying to you but ok. I already know that. I stated that in many other posts in this topic. Maybe you should keep your attitude to yourself maybe?
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| WhiteElephant | Sep 21 2007, 05:19 PM Post #32 |
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I know you weren't replying to my post, but it did contain an answer to your post. And if you think that that's an attitude, you are mistaken, but I apologise nevertheless. It was a valid point
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| Ryn | Sep 21 2007, 05:21 PM Post #33 |
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Well it's cool then. I'm just slightly irritated and I apologize. (Not because of this topic..something irl.) Eh. |
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| Melancholic | Sep 21 2007, 05:49 PM Post #34 |
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chiralism
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So just because you were oblivious to the world at that age means everyone in the current batch of 16 year olds is? I'd say every next generation reaches maturity earlier than the last one. Besides, even if it is somehow "wrong", let them figure that out themselves. Knowledge isn't given to you by elders (who tend to be extremely narrow-minded, or arrogant idiots that fail to understand their kid, or both -- either way they're overrated) but by experience. At some point she might conclude she made a mistake. Everyone is entitled to those, and it's not like voluntarily sleeping with an older guy is not going to destroy their lives. Being impressed with the guy's car instead of him is the materialistic attitude I referred to. The guy is not a pedophile. She's underage and he's not but it's just... wrong to label him that. Of course we can't have 14 year olds sleeping with 40 year olds but in this scenario we're only talking about only 6 years. If they are attracted to each other (physically, mentally, both?) I really don't see a problem in that any more than I see a problem in a 15 year old playing a videogame rated for ages 16 and up. She asked for your advice, you gave it, "yadda yadda yadda", that's not the point. This really isn't about your friend, this is about whether or not such an age difference is okay. That's why I edited your initial post in the first place. In my opinion it's perfectly okay for them to have sex because of the aforementioned reasons, including virginity and all that because that can be used as a counterargument from a religious or conservative perspective. I didn't write all that just to flaunt with sexuality so there's no need to go yadda on me, okay? Finally, it's scientifically proven that engaging in sexual intercourse every now and then subconsciously makes you feel happier and better about yourself, among other things. This has nothing to do with slutty behavior or anything to that effect, it's just the way our bodies work. Friendship cannot fulfill all our needs. Hormones and stuff. PS: You're not "explaining" anything to me. That assumes you're right and I'm wrong while all we have is two honest opinions and a 50/50 poll (the last time I checked). You're coming across as if you're somehow lecturing me and that's not the kind of attitude that will get you anything in Brain Juice. Let's keep it friendly and stay open-minded to each other, okay?
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| Ryn | Sep 21 2007, 06:40 PM Post #35 |
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No..because history repeats itself. These 16yr olds aren't exactly child prodigies you know. "I'm young and I know a lot.." but in actuality it's "I'm young and I know a little.". I'm sorry that's just how I see it and no one will make me think otherwise. This is not to say they're unintelligent by any means but I will say they are inexperienced. There are very few that will suprise you. Maybe if a lot of them weren't so predictable people wouldn't underestimate them so much and actually take them a lot more seriously. If they have parents then why not allow someone with a bit more insight to talk to you just for a moment?Just once? All I'm saying is that in the American culture, a lot of this is not really something some of us give a thumbs up to. I know it's different in other places and I acknowledge that. Just because the girls not two years old in a ballerina outfit doesn't mean he's not a predator of some sort. Seriously. I don't feel bad for labeling someone who has a mental upperhand on a kid. The fact that he can't get someone older shows that clearly he's not man enough to go for an actual woman who actually has a better understanding of what she wants. He was attracted to her because of her vulnerability and naivety, taking advantage of her would probably be a lot easier than playing a mental-chess game with an actual woman. I mean the girl just recently started developing can't he wait 4 more years? Still the virginity arguement seems very useless because there was no religious argument created. You bought that up out of thin air in my opinon.
Correcting myself, knowledge isn't really given to you by elders because you have to also seek knowledge for yourself, but a lot of advice elders give is sometimes in the youth's best interest. They've most likely experienced a lot of the things the young person is going through and teach them a thing or two. It's not a bad thing to listen to someone older than you. The fact that you compare videogame ratings to this is actually frightening. We're talking about people here. Videogames have no emotions. How would you know if she wouldn't have any damages? What if she really started falling for the guy and he throws her away like a used q-tip? PS. I am explaining, because I am explaining what *I* mean. I never said I was right on anything. I've just been dishing out opinions and how I feel on the subject. If you feel like you're being lectured then I can't help that. Just like you can't help me being offended by you editing my post. It's not really a big deal. I honestly don't really want anything in Brain Juice, I'm just passing time. |
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| Ryn | Sep 21 2007, 06:46 PM Post #36 |
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That's where I'm coming from with this issue. |
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| emeraude | Sep 21 2007, 08:54 PM Post #37 |
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Okay, let me make something clear: I am almost positive that we are talking about the culture in the United States. I'm originally from Ireland; of course I know there are cultures outside America (and for the record, it would be wrong there, too). But regardless, we are talking about the US, and in the US, it is culturally and morally wrong. I don't think my attitude is at all arrogant. I don't claim to be a psychologist. But It is almost common sense to recognize that most sixteen-year-old girls aren't ready for sex. Biologically, yes, but mentally? Not at all. And what is this, the 1400s? Sixteen year old girls should not be having children, regardless of whether they're at their "optimum state for child-bearing." I can't speak for other countries, but in the United States, it's just unfair for a young girl to have a baby, both to the mother and the child, even if the girl is capable of doing it physically. But that's another issue entirely. Frankly, I think your attitude is arrogant. You know very well that I never claimed to be a psychologist, nor did I ever attempt to imply that ALL sixteen-year-old girls are immature and unready for sex or anything else you attacked me for. You speak as though just because a girl can get pregnant, she should. Yes, sex is essentially to create a child, but let's look at it realistically: if people tried to have a baby every single time they had sex, this planet would be completely overrun. So just because one is capable of doing it doesn't mean they should. In this country, MOST sixteen-year-old girls aren't ready for sex, especially with older people who might expect more than a sixteen-year-old has to offer. I don't speak for all of them, and I don't speak for other cultures, so don't attack me simply because I didn't mention every other region of the world and their take on it. |
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| WhiteElephant | Sep 22 2007, 08:46 AM Post #38 |
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If you're confining this debate to the USA, then I shall step out of it. One last point, though, would be on your statement: "of course I know there are cultures outside America (and for the record, it would be wrong there, too)." This is incorrect. There are hundreds, thousands of cultures outside the USA and they are all massively varied. In the majority of them there is no such problem with 'age of consent' and so on, because they have sex when they're biologically ready, because they don't have the so-called 'benefits' of a modern society i.e. stress, depression, broken families and over-working. Whether this is 'right' or 'wrong' depends entirely on how you were brought up. |
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| spazz4000 | Sep 22 2007, 09:42 AM Post #39 |
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Well I gotta be honest, in a kids point of view heres what I think. If he was hot to her Im sure she would take the oportunity because teenage years is just spending 6 years of your life being horny until your 18. Im fourteen and Im not sure what I would do if I knew someone (not sure she knew him) and had sex with her, I probaly would if Im 16, Im being serious. As for the guy being twenty two, it makes no difference if there in love (after that they better be) and even if your twenty and like a eighty year old (eww) its your choice even though no one else understands it, which is the case here. Your not looking at this from her view just the laws view. |
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| Akira. | Sep 22 2007, 12:36 PM Post #40 |
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ryo wa no koto SUKI
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I dunno what to say, I mean many of you are kinda... irritating to read. If you had children you'd understand more. I of course do not have children. But I have a younger sister. You wanna know what makes me happy? Hitting my teacher... but that doesn't mean I can do it. I wouldn't care if they were having a non-sexual relationship. But honestly a 16 y/o being independent?? how lame. So untrue. Majority of teenagers are illogical.. |
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| The Sentinel | Sep 23 2007, 06:59 PM Post #41 |
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Your right to be angry.It looks like that man will become a pedofile later in his life. |
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| OcelotJay-ZNR | Sep 23 2007, 09:12 PM Post #42 |
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I am kitteh, hear me purr. =(^_^)=
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There are traits common among criminal classes that are indications of future criminal behaviour (not inherently accurate though). I hardly think a 22-year-old dating or engaging in sex with someone who is of the legal age of consent (country pending) fits the standard paedophile profile. Paedophiles exclusively target pre-pubescent children, as the name indicates - from the Greek paidophilia -pais, meaning child, and philia, meaning love. At the age of 16 not only is the person mid-pubescent, they are sexually active. It would be rather unusual for a future paedophile to begin with someone of that age.
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| .Daze | Sep 23 2007, 09:58 PM Post #43 |
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Have I been missed? Hell no! lmao
:D
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Indeed. |
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| emeraude | Sep 24 2007, 01:36 PM Post #44 |
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I guarantee that in Ireland, it’s whether you’re both old enough. You have sex when you're married, and you marry when you're BOTH eighteen or older (at the same time), unless you want to be the town scandal or to cause unnecessary pain to your family. As far as the "majority" of cultures outside the U.S. go, I think you're very, very wrong. Yes, teenagers may be having sex, but not with older men—at least not most of the time. Sex is one thing, doing it with a man many years your senior is entirely different. Perhaps in some cultures they still condone such relationships, but absolutely, positively NOT the majority. Most cultures don’t even support sex before marriage, much less sex out of wedlock with a man older than the girl.. And the reality is that in a way, I'm playing devil's advocate. I'm eighteen, and I'm certainly not a virgin. However, I still believe that there are an extremely small amount of sixteen-year-old girls ready to have sex with an older man, regardless of culture. For the record, too, EVERY culture has broken families, stress, and depression. The United States is not at all the worst of it. So if people are having sex without regard to any "age of consent" laws (if their culture/society/government has them, and most do) it's not for lack of hardship; it's just what each individual is thinking/feeling about their hasving sex. |
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| WhiteElephant | Sep 25 2007, 09:58 AM Post #45 |
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The phrase there is a world outside the USA should be extended to there is a world outside modern 'western' society. Both Ireland and the USA are part of the same modern western culture. Certainly historically they are different and there are many so many superficial differences now that it appears that there are big differences, but nevertheless, especially regarding this sort of issue, they're pretty much the same. I'm talking about different cultures: none are perfect, some are worse than ours, some better. But they have different attitudes to this issue which are all valid within their culture. There are a lot more of them. None may have nearly as many people living in them as the modern west, the 'developed world,' but they're still there. Go back a hundred years or so and there's even more. I'd also like to see your authoritative list of all the cultures in the world and their views on this issue too that allow you to be 'absolutely, positively' sure =] And that is the big point which is being missed. No-one on this forum can judge whether or not what the man is doing is right or wrong, because no-one here knows enough about the situation. If the bloke actually loves the girl, and she loves him, there's nothing wrong with what's going on. If the bloke has not been brought up to believe that you can only have sex with people very close to your own age, then he's not doing anything wrong. You can't take your own 'standards' and 'morals' and apply them to someone else who you don't know and has had completely different life experiences than you. Real life isn't like school; you're not only allowed to talk to people in the same 'year group' as you. If they were, say, 28 and 22, then this would be a non-issue. It's not the age gap that's the problem, it's the fact that everyone loves a bit of righteous indignation every now and then, and to judge people and situations that they don't know anything about. |
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3:24 PM Jul 11
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Paedophiles exclusively target pre-pubescent children, as the name indicates - from the Greek paidophilia -pais, meaning child, and philia, meaning love. At the age of 16 not only is the person mid-pubescent, they are sexually active. It would be rather unusual for a future paedophile to begin with someone of that age.

3:24 PM Jul 11